Wabi-Sabi #7, or Sad Days

7. Cultivate Silence. To cultivate what Quakers call the “still, small voice within,” slowly reduce the noise sources in your life. Less is more.
  • Leave the television off for one night each week.
  • Turn off the radio during your morning or evening commute.
  • Practice a few moments of silence before eating a shared meal.
  • Make time in the afternoon for a quiet cup of tea.
I haven't been in the best of moods lately. I'm not really sure why, but this week has been a real bummer for me. There have been several things that have come up that haven't been great news. But the thing is that they're always a little double-sided. For example, I have a job. It's not a full-time or totally career-making job, but it's something that I'll get paid for. Unfortunately, I start next week, which means that I won't be able to go to my friend's engagement party that weekend, because I'll have to work Friday until 6:30 pm, and it's a 7 hour drive away. I'm a bridesmaid in her wedding, so it's kind of important, and also I was looking forward to going to Boston for the weekend. I was going to stay with another, old childhood friend for the weekend, and she was really excited. Now I will have to wait until March when I go to the wedding to see either of them. So there's that. And of course the fact that even though I'll be working, I'll have to wait to get paid until that last child abuse clearance comes through, which they say can take up to a month. A few other, small things have come up. The end result? I've just been feeling sad.

Last weekend (like a week ago this past weekend), I was in Pittsburgh. Brad's mother has a small house, and in this house, either the tv or the radio is constantly on. I didn't notice it at first, but after a few days, I realized that I hadn't had any silence in a long time and it was starting to get to me. When I came home all I wanted to do was be alone and quiet. I'm kind of like that. I get a little crazy when I haven't been alone in a while. But even though I've had a lot of quietness these past few days, I've still been pretty sad. This isn't really like me, and I'm not sure what the real issue is. I went to the bookstore this past weekend and I found an awesome book on Buddhism. It's called 201 Little Buddhist Reminders: Gathas for Your Daily Life. I opened it up in the store and this is one of the meditations I found, on finding money, "I am already rich with life. Finding money is an added blessing and I wish to be wise with it." What a great reminder! There was another one on hugging, it went something like this, "I am so happy to hug my dear ____. I can feel him/her in my arms and appreciate the gift it is to know them." Isn't that so sweet? I was sure I needed this book, so I went home and found it way cheaper online and used a giftcard to pay for it. 

I'm anxious for this book to arrive. Because I've noticed that besides the silence, I also need a meditation. As this Wabi Sabi post calls it, "the still, small voice within." (But not the ego! As a side note, I realize I may have sounded a little crazy in my last post. Unfortunately, that's just the way I am.)

Comments

  1. BethaneyOctober 11, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Oh you did sound crazy in your last post, but it made total sense. :-) What on earth is child abuse clearance that has to go through before you get paid? What are you doing? And bummer on missing out on the engagement party. :-( And I think silence is good. I remember a facebook friend posted that the radio broke, so she has just been sitting there thinking while working and NOT enjoying it. Pretty sad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Verity EarlOctober 11, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    After school tutoring at a learning center. Everyone who works with kids in PA has to pass three different clearances: FBI and state criminal records, and a state child abuse clearances. Booooo! The state child abuse clearance takes about a month to come through.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LolaOctober 11, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    Sorry to hear about missing out with your friends, but at least you will still be able to see them. I also like silence, and I understand the alone part. I need to have my alone time as well, otherwise I feel off balance. It's is part of being a sensitive. At least you found a job, and who knows something else may pop up for you that you will love, and could be career potential.

    ReplyDelete
  4. VirginiaOctober 12, 2011 at 1:54 PM

    I remember when you started to be alone and quiet. You started going for walks by the stream by yourself when we lived in the Helena house. I was highly insulted and complained to Mom about it, but she told me I needed to leave you alone b/c you needed your own time. So I used to stand in the pasture and just watch you and resent you a little for not wanting to play Barbies or babydolls or draw w/ me. In retrospect, it's humorous to think about me lurking in the field among the cows at a safe distance, so Mom wouldn't yell at me for bothering you. I'm not sure where Mary was. Probably contentedly doing her own thing. This story kind of makes me sound like Gollum. Btw, I like the little buddhist reminders. Also, congrats on a job!! WOO HOO!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LesleyOctober 14, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    At my sister's house, the TV is always on (I hope she never reads this). No matter what we're doing, the TV is on in the background, and sometimes it's really loud. I don't get it. Why have the TV on when we're talking or eating? It gets really annoying after a while, so I get that. Also, I just realized it is the same at my parents' house. The TV is on all day even though no one's in the living room. WTF? Anyway, Nina's story is so cute. And I had to read the "child abuse" part a few times until I got it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lauraOctober 16, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    I am laughing picturing Nina as Gollum in the field...

    Thanks for sharing this as I feel this is something I have become aware of more recently in myself - the need for alone time. Sometimes, I pretend I'm Miss Social Herself, but (1) deep down, I know that's not true; and (2) it gets wearisome, so it's definitely not true.

    I've appreciated all of your posts lately - sorry for not commenting - the computer at work eats my comments when I hit "submit". It's telling me to be conscientious and do my blogging at home, but during the day (at work) is when I read blogs... all 5 or so that I follow :-P

    By the way, congrats on your new job! Do not use me as an example of work integrity there...

    Are you coming up with Nina? We could meet up for tea!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Verity EarlOctober 18, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Thanks, Laura! I am coming up, but just for the weekend, and with my parents. So I probably won't be able to meet up for tea this time. But I will keep you in mind for future trips! By the by, where do you live??

    ReplyDelete
  8. lauraOctober 18, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    I'm in Delanson, NY... outside Albany... probably like outside Lancaster (:

    ReplyDelete
  9. Verity EarlOctober 18, 2011 at 10:02 PM

    Well I will be sure to stop by on my next visit north. Do you have an email address, or are you on facebook?

    ReplyDelete

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